Polaroid Photo

Thu
18
Oct '07

This post is not safe for work or family friendly

I’ve mentioned that for the show I have to buy several props including two penises. So I went to Toys in Babeland ((Very tasteful, fascinating but don’t click through if you aren’t prepared for adult toys.)) , which has agreed to donate the dildoes of my choice, to pick out the most lifelike ones. There are more choices than I had imagined.

My conversation with the director included this line, “I thought, given a choice between uncircumcised and large, that you’d prefer large.” ((Strangely, the uncircumcised penises were smaller than the circumsized ones))

He thought for a moment then nodded. “Yes.”

I also was several sentences into a conversation about how to attach the prosthetic to the actor before I realized that I’d been using the phrase, “mount the penis” repeatedly. No one had even blinked.

18 Comments »

  • Veejane

    There was a time, 4 years ago, when I worked on college sexuality textbooks. The authors of said books, being scientists or anyway rational educators, are constantly frustrated that they cannot put Real Live Photos of people having sex (even with themselves) in the sex books.

    (Closeups of parts at rest are okay; parts being involved in medical self-exams, okay; parts not at rest, or in the presence of another person’s parts, and suddenly everything reverts to “artistic” sketches.)

    The great and hilarious joy of my editing work was getting five adults in four states into a telephone conference, putting them on speakerphone, and letting them argue about whether the photo on page 240 was hairy enough, or whether that fellow on page 379 was enjoying his testicular exam altogether too much to be published in Kansas.

    Good times, good times.

  • Peterbilt_47

    Erm, your links are not working for me. And I was all excited about seeing some dildoes.

  • Jen

    You, puppets and penises. Well, now you’ll have a prop for the next time you tell the Sleeping Beauty puppet story.

    “Let me show you how to hold it.”

    I couldn’t resist. :)

  • Joel

    ah, but what would he have chosen if they were both the same size? lol. i suppose we will never know.

  • Wordly

    I also was several sentences into a conversation about how to attach the prosthetic to the actor before I realized that I’d been using the phrase, “mount the penis” repeatedly. No one had even blinked.

    But inside, they were in stitches! How could this not be funny? I think it’s a crack-up and I wasn’t even there. :D

  • http://www.maryrobinettekowal.com Mary Robinette Kowal

    Veejane: Oh, that sounds hillarious. The first time I had to build an anatomically correct puppet, I was the only woman on the creative team and the director was an older man. The lengths to which he went to avoid using the word “penis” were astounding.

    Peterbilt: It’s a good link, so I suspect that you are being filtered.

    Jen: Oooo! I didn’t even think about that.

    Joel: In the production meeting, I had asked if he wanted circumsized or uncircumsized and the director had wanted the uncircumsized option. But he’d also wanted “really big.” From the audience, the size will be more noticeable than the foreskin.

    Worldy: I suspect you are right.

  • peterbilt_47

    OK; I was using the little arrow thingies; I guess those aren’t actually links after all…

    And in tangentially related news, the California State Assemblyman from my college district was Dick Mountjoy.

  • http://www.maryrobinettekowal.com Mary Robinette Kowal

    Peterbilt said:

    And in tangentially related news, the California State Assemblyman from my college district was Dick Mountjoy.

    HA!

    Also, the little arrows are supposed to return you to the footnoted sentence by putting it at the top of your screen. Does that happen? They are new, so I’m still playing with them.

  • Kris

    Toys in Babeland is the best! store! evarh!

  • peterbilt_47

    Well, Mary, it sets the page back up to the top of the screen, if you’ve scrolled down any. But since you don’t really have to scroll to read the entry, it’s unclear what’s happening; it just looks like the page has refreshed. It might work better on longer entries.

  • http://chang3002.livejournal.com Chang

    Wow… I, uh… I,… sheesh. Speechless, for once.

    I’m glad you enjoy the length and width of the work that you do and you’re not cicumspect about talking about it.

    I just saw Borat last night and the scene where he’s chasing his director around with the fist-topped appendage comes to mind.

    Now I need to lie down more than ever.

  • http://www.journalscape.com/maggie Maggie

    And I thought the anthrogeeks had a good time with our sex conversations in class. I went into the wrong field. :)

  • Fabulous Girl

    And I thought I was bad - I was on a conference call yesterday and I giggled when someone said, “We have to be very careful about premature solicitation.”

    No one else laughed.

  • peterbilt_47

    “Premature solicitation.”

    Ha. How is that not hilarious?

  • http://karindira.livejournal.com Karindira

    So I am reading through all the comments, wiating for someone to state the obvious reason why the uncircumcized were markedly smaller than the circumcized.

    Can it be true that no one else has this one figured it out? Am I the only whorish old battleax with sufficient experience with both kinds of penises and their behaviors in the wild to know this?

    While erect, the uncircumsized penis looks basically the same as the erect. The little turtleneck retracts. So they are smaller because they are not supposed to be erect.

  • http://karindira.livejournal.com Karindira

    I meant to say, “while erect, the uncircumsized penis looks basically the same as the circumsized penis.” Also, I have spelled the word so many different ways in the comment that it occurs to me that I really don’t know how to spell it.

  • Joel

    LOL!

    Karindira:

    the true spelling is “uncircumcised” or “circumcised”, although many feel that saying something is uncircumcised is incorrect because that assumes that the default is circumcised, and they prefer to be called “intact” and cringe whenever anyone says differently. i personally am not bothered by it enough to refer to it that way, but i definitely see their reasoning.

    also, although you are correct that the foreskin can pull behind the head when an uncircumcised man is erect, it is certainly not the case for all men, as foreskins, like labia, come in all sorts of different sizes.

    Fabulous girl:

    “Premature solicitation.” hilarious.

    Mary: thanks for the clarification! :p

  • http://www.maryrobinettekowal.com Mary Robinette Kowal

    Fabulous girl: I don’t see how one can hear “premature solicitation” and not laugh.

    Joel and Karindira: Well, I am learning all sorts of cool things today. The intact ones were erect, but you could see the textural difference where the foreskin had pulled back behind the head. (These things are cast from real people after all.) It just wasn’t a big enough difference to read from the audience.

    Chang: Yay! I win for making Chang speechless.

    Maggie: Y’know, you probably had some doozies of conversations, but you don’t get to talk about actually handling the things.

    An update: For rehearsal, we are using condoms to make sanitation easier to deal with. So, I got to have a conversation asking what flavor of condoms the actress would prefer. This is a wacky, wacky show.

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