My brother said that one of the reasons he likes talking to me is because stories about my job include sentences that no one else can say. (Clearly he hasn’t been hanging out with enough puppeteers.) So he suggested that I start a top-ten list of things I can say at my job that you can’t.

10. Make that rod go really deep. Yeah. That’s good.
9. If you want Elvis, we have to take the Mayor’s head off first.
8. Remember that time when we were ele­phant’­s?
7. The Emerald City fell on me.
6. I’m going to need talcum powder to get out of Ziggy’s hands.
5. I’m sticking to the leather.
4. We need to spend more time with the Harpy.
3. Head! I see head!
2. I spent all morning riding his rod.
1. C’mon! The rats are getting heavy.