What I said

1. I need a mounted woodcock.
2. Someone stole the bag of extra body parts.
3. Why are you puckering?
4. I had to unplug the time machine.
5. Where are the monkey balls?
6. It’s between the barfing panda and the orange fuzzy man.
7. I’m really looking forward to mounting his head.
8. I just need to cut the baby’s face off and it should be ready to go.
9. My… that’s a lot of decapitations
10. “Oh no, I’ve lost my eyeballs!”

What it actually means

1. I was looking for a taxidermied bird.
2. Aside from being puppet parts, that’s exactly what it sounds like.
3. Fabric on a puppet was bunching unpleasantly
4. We use a standing hair dryer with the brand name, “time machine.”
5. I needed some wicker balls that we had used when building a set of monkeys.
6. Er… this one is hard to explain, except both descriptions are accurate and refer to toys.
7. I was looking forward to being finished building a puppet’s head so I could install it.
8. I was making a bloody child for a production of MacBeth.
9. A friend was working on project making thirty custom dolls. She had a whole bunch of headless bodies laying on her desk.
10. A friend was doing a sculpture and couldn’t find the eyes she needed to embed in it.