I did arrive safely at World Fantasy three hours after I’d planned to get here.  The storm system that delayed our arrival in Minneapolis was an inland hurricane.  The bizarre side benefit of this is that it meant that my connecting flight was also delayed so I was merely late and didn’t have to get rerouted.

Both flights were entirely smooth, which is nice, although I did get a nose-bleed upon landing in Columbus. Ah, comedy.

I ran into Kay Kenyon at baggage claim and it turned out that we were on the same flight. We shared a cab to the hotel and had a bite to eat. The nice thing about WFC is that it is like old home week. The sheer density of wonderful people is fantastic.

Today I’ve got a 3 o’clock panel on Puppetry and Fantasy with Kathe Koja in the Fairfield room. People keep asking me if I’m going to bring a puppet and, though I hadn’t planned to, I think I will just in case we veer from the theoretical to practical.

I’m on my way to World Fantasy with my customary delayed flight. According to the flight attendant the weather is “a complete mess” in Minneapolis and it’s the “worst storm since 1974.”  They only have one runway open, so this is causing a two-hour delay in departing Portland.

Meanwhile, I thought I’d give you my schedule at WFC.

In theory, I get in tonight. Bwahahaha…

Thursday

3pm — Fantasy & Puppetry
Kathe Koja. Mary Robinette Kowal

Friday

10:30 am — Tempest Bradford reading
I’m helping by reading with her. She has a story that wants two voices.

11am – 4pm — SFWA board meeting.
That’s right, I’m spending four hours locked in a room with John Scalzi and the other board members for you.

8pm-11:30 — Autographing reception
A metric ton of Fantasy authors will be signing. I’ll be one of them.

Saturday

8:30-10:00 — SFWA Business meeting
If you are a SFWA member, please come to this.  We’ll be going over the  past year’s business as well as providing a continental breakfast with lots of coffee.

11:00 am — 2010 World Fantasy Convention Author Event at Barnes and Noble
This is not officially a part of WFC but 30 authors attending WFC will be signing at the Barnes and Noble on the Ohio State University campus.
Open to the public

Sunday

Did you ever have to sit on a piece of news that was SO COOL and you wanted to tell everybody, but couldn’t?  I knew that the METAtropolis: Cascadia project was working on an all Star Trek cast for the narrators but couldn’t say anything while they got them lined up.

And then! Then this interview with Kate Mulgrew popped up in my google alert. She says,  ”I just did one and I loved it.  It was about a … it was about a vineyard.”  Yes. That’s right. Kate Mulgrew — Captain Janeway from Voyager – narrated “Water to Wine” and she said she loved it.

I spent a fair bit bouncing around because even if I weren’t a fan, she’s PERFECT for the story I wrote.

But I had to hold my squee down because Audible, understandably, wanted to announce all the narrators at once. So, here, let me show you the awesome narrator list.

In order of appearance.

• THE BULL DANCERS by Jay Lake
  Narrated By: Rene Auberjonois (“Odo”)
• WATER TO WINE by Mary Robinette Kowal
  Narrated By: Kate Mulgrew (“Capt. Kathryn Janeway”)
• BYWAYS by Tobias S. Buckell
  Narrated By: Wil Wheaton (“Wesley Crusher”)
• CONFESSOR by Elizabeth Bear
  Narrated By: Gates McFadden (“Dr. Beverly Crusher”)
• DEODAND by Karl Schroeder
  Narrated By: Jonathan Frakes (“Cmdr. William Riker”)
• A SYMMETRY OF SERPENTS AND DOVES by Ken Scholes
  Narrated By: LeVar Burton (“Geordi La Forge”)

METAtropolis: Cascadia goes on sale Nov. 16…  Not that I’m counting the days or anything.

It’s that time of year again. I’m a wine widow. Sure, other people have to deal with the football season, but for me? It’s harvest. Rob has spent the past week putting in long hours at Westrey Winery — recommended, by the way — and will probably be there for another couple of weeks as they get fruit in. Basically, I will see him when he comes home to shower and drop into bed. He gets up around 5am to start the day again.

Except this weekend, he’s out of town altogether doing some work for City Winery, where he worked for in NYC. They get fruit from a vineyard in Oregon and Rob drives it down to California in a reefer truck — refrigerator truck — where it joins the shipment of California fruit and heads across country to Manhattan. He doesn’t do the cross-country drive. Last year he had to make the California trip three times and this year they were able to arrange picking so he only had to do one.

When we set our wedding date, we timed it so that he would be finished with harvest AND so that the stains on his hands would have time to fade. This time of year, the pinot noir stains the palms of his hands almost black. Of course harvest is so late this year that I’m not sure he’ll be finished by the time our anniversary rolls around.

I have amused myself this weekend by spending an evening at -e-’s house with her charming family. I also have been working my way through the first two seasons of Castle, which I’m now hopelessly addicted to. I had some hand-stitching to do and it provided a very pleasant distraction.

How was your weekend?

This is pretty cool. The Henson company has been releasing the occasional backstage video. Here we have a screen test from Labyrinth where they are looking at the characters’ relative sizes. One of the nifty things is that Ludo doesn’t have his fur on yet so you can really see the structure of the puppet.

Today I went out to Beaverton to teach someone how to be a giant man-eating plant. That’s right, it’s time for Little Shop of Horrors.  For those who don’t know me, I’m a little addicted to the show. I’ve performed in seven different productions and trained puppeteers for other productions.

I can generate a one-page resume consisting of nothing except Little Shop. Ah… the strange things I’m proud of.

So. Today. This was a set of puppets that I hadn’t seen before. They are physically attractive but deviate from the original plans quite a bit. This is the first time I’ve seen 3/4 ply in one of these. It makes them very sturdy but also heavy.

I’m guessing that the largest puppet is in the 125-130lb. range. I got to borrow and perform with the plants from the original off-Broadway production and the largest there was 125lbs. It was exquisitely balanced so you didn’t have to fight the mass. This plant is very nose heavy.  It wants to tip forward at all times so the puppeteer has to use her own weight to try to counter-balance it. Once it’s in operating position it moves pretty well, but it’s a beast to get there.

The young woman they have performing the puppet is very smart and I think she’ll do a good job with it but she’s going to be working really hard.

This is frustrating for me because it repeats a pattern I see a lot. The person who made these created some really beautiful props but props are not puppets.   The two art-forms are related but not identical.  A puppet-builder thinks about things like balance intuitively and designs around the ergonomic requirements of the human body.

What makes it particularly frustrating with Little Shop of Horrors is that there’s a really good set of plans out there by Marty Robinson from the original production. They are so well-balanced that I wish people would just build them instead of trying to create something new.

On the other hand, I also have this crazy scheme to design a set of disposable cardboard plants specifically so that high schools can make something light and affordable.

You know how sometimes you are researching a story and run across an unexpected thing which totally upsets all your notions? So… I was looking at old Mae West videos for a story and stumbled on… well.

Just watch it and forgive me later.

That’s from Sextette, based on her play by the same name. She’s 84 in that clip.  I just… It’s really disturbing and yet– Continue reading Mae West and Timothy Dalton in a disco duet of “Love Will Keep Us Together”

Only five days left in the KGB raffle. Five! If you aren’t already familiar with it, the hosts of the Fantastic Fiction at KGB reading series in New York City are holding a raffle to support the series.  All proceeds from the raffle will help support the reading series, which has been a bright star in the speculative fiction community for more than a decade.

Raffle tickets cost one dollar US ($1) and can be purchased at www.kgbfantasticfiction.org.  You may purchase as many tickets as you want between now and October 25th, 2010.  Sales will close at midnight (Eastern Daylight Time) on October 25th, and shortly afterward, winners will be drawn randomly from a digital “hat” and announced on the web.  Prizes will be mailed to the lucky winners by the donors. (See a more detailed explanation in Raffle Rules).

What sort of prizes?

I donated a signed carbon copy of a typewritten short story draft. Yes, a story on actual carbon paper typed on a burgundy and black duotone Royal with a sans serif typeface. “The Golden Child’s Glamour” is set in the Shades of Milk and Honey universe.

I also donated a short story critique.

Plus, there’s Neil Gaiman’s keyboard and things like…

• Signed galley of Catherynne Valente’s DEATHLESS & handmade necklace
• Signed copies of INSIDE STRAIGHT, BUSTED FLUSH, and SUICIDE KINGS by George R.R. Martin
• Your very own wormhole, with a certificate of authenticity by physicist Michio Kaku
• A signed partial early draft of a manuscript by William Gibson

And more! Go buy raffle tickets for the Fantastic Fiction at KGB Raffle.

Okay… technically, it’s an automaton and not a robot but still! This animated dulcimer player is called the Joueuse de Tympanon. She was built in 1772 by Pierre Kintzing and David Roentgen for Marie Antoinette. At just eighteen inches tall, she plays eight different songs. She was restored in 1864 by Robert-Houdin and is now at the Musée des Arts et Métiers

Edited to add: Hurrah! The irate blogsphere has done its work in less than ten hours. The two bogus profiles are down.  There are two legitimate pages, which are fan pages about China and that are totally okay.  The personal profiles weren’t.

Original post below

China Miéville has a problem with people impersonating him on Facebook. Adding to the problem is that there’s no way he can report it without being logged in.  He’s tried. And he’s had friends report the fake profiles. They are still up.  He’s resorted to sending a paper letter to Facebook with an explanation that if things don’t change, he’ll ask people to post it.

The letter, by the way, is a thing of beauty. I encourage you to read it.

Facebook
1601 S. California Avenue
Palo Alto
CA 94304
USA
6 October 2010

Dear Facebook People,

URGENT COMPLAINT– PLEASE READ, MORE ACTION TO FOLLOW SHORTLY

1) The short version:

At least one person, if not more, is/are impersonating me on Facebook, with (a) fake profile(s) claiming my identity. Despite me repeatedly bringing this to your attention, you have taken no action to remedy the situation. And I’m getting very annoyed.

2) The full version:

This thing you hold is called a letter. This is the third time I’ve contacted you, and I’m doing so by this antiquated method because, and I realise this may shock you so brace yourself, I have no Facebook account. Which means it is nigh-on impossible for me to get in touch with you. Kudos for your Ninja avoidance strategies.

Back when you had a button allowing me to alert you to a fake profile despite not having an account myself, I contacted you that way. I was answered with a resonant silence. Subsequently, when the problem persisted, I hunted lengthily for, found and left a message on the phone number you go out of your way to hide. Absolutely nothing happened. So here we go again: third time’s a charm.

I am being imitated on Facebook. I believe the only reason anyone is bothering to do this is because I’m a novelist (published by Macmillan and Random House), a writer and broadcaster, with a minor public profile. I think there are one or two community pages about my stuff on Facebook – that of course is very flattering and nice of people to bother. The problem is that there is or are also pages by someone(s) purporting to be me. This is weird and creepy. What’s worse is I know for a fact that some readers, friends and colleagues are friending ‘China Miéville’ under the impression that it is me, and that others are wondering why ‘China Miéville’ refuses to respond to them. And I have no idea what dreadful things or ‘likes’ or ‘dislikes’ are being claimed as mine, nor what ‘I’ am saying.

I know lots of people enjoy being on Facebook. Great. More power to them. Vaya con Dios. Me, though: not my thing. I have absolutely no interest in it. I am not now nor have I ever been a Facebook member. Short of some weird Damascene moment, I will not ever join Facebook – and if that unlikely event occurs, I promise I’ll tell you immediately. In the meantime, though, as a matter of urgency, as a matter of courtesy, as a matter of decency, please respond to my repeated requests:

• Please delete all profiles claiming to be me (with or without the accent on the ‘é’ – last time I looked, I found one ‘China Mieville’, and one more accurately rendered).
• Please do not allow anyone else to impersonate me. I have neither time nor inclination to trawl your listings regularly to see if another bizarre liar has sprung up.
• And while you’re at it, please institute a system whereby those of us with the temerity not to sign up to your service can still contact you on these matters and actually get a [insert cuss-word] answer.

I appeal to you to honour your commitments to security and integrity. Of course as a multi-gajillion-dollar company I have absolutely no meaningful leverage over you at all. If David Fincher’s film doesn’t embarrass you, you’re hardly going to notice the plaintive whining of a geek like me. All I can do is go public. Which is my next plan.

I’m allowing a week for this letter to reach you by airmail, then three days for you to respond to me by phone or the email address provided. Then, if I’ve heard nothing, on 16 October 2010, I’ll send copies of this message to all the literary organizations and publications with which I have connections

…

some of the many books bloggers I know; and anyone else I can think of. I’ll encourage them all to publicise the matter. I’m tired of being impersonated, and I’m sick of you refusing to answer me.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
China Miéville

Look at this shiny thing!

The METAtropolis: Cascasdia anthology will come out in audio on November 16.

• THE BULL DANCERS by Jay Lake
• WATER TO WINE by Mary Robinette Kowal
• BYWAYS by Tobias S. Buckell
• CONFESSOR by Elizabeth Bear
• DEODAND by Karl Schroeder
• A SYMMETRY OF SERPENTS AND DOVES by Ken Scholes

As the mid-20th Century approaches, the Pacific Northwest has been transformed — politically, economically, and ecologically — into the new reality of Cascadia. Conspiracies and secrets threaten the tenuous threads of society. The End of Days seems nearer than ever. And the legend of the mysterious Tygre Tygre looms large.

Here’s a teaser of my story, “Water to Wine.”

Water sprayed out from beneath the wine barrel, carrying the faint stink of sulfur with it. I suppose it’s crazy to have a fondness for the smell of rotten eggs, but that means cleanliness in the wine industry. I shut off the hose and wrestled the barrel off the ancient Gamma-Jet, rolling it to the racks outside the cellar door so it could drain in the sun.

I tend to grunt whenever I heave a barrel off the ground and let it drop onto the metal frame. It’s not the weight so much — an empty barrel weighed about a hundred pounds — but the size is awkward. I’ve seen men who can’t do this, and so I take a certain delight in being able to heft them. My hands are constantly getting nicked from where the metal hoops at the ends catch me, and the scarring would ruin any chance at a career as a hand model– as if I would leave the winery voluntarily. Still there are days when a physically easier job would be welcome.

At the far end of the cellar, my dad tromped into view. I straightened, putting a hand against my lower back as it cracked in protest. I hadn’t expected him back from Portland for another couple of days, so the trip either went really well or really badly.

Several years ago, I turned my computer into the Kowal Portable Typewriter and Adding Machine, basing the design on some of the typewriters my husband and I collect. When I had to replace that, I was sad and planned on modding my new computer. I got as far as making the stickers and then we moved.

Over a year later… May I present the Kowal Portable Typewriter and Adding Machine No. 2. The Deco model.

For the most part, I did this one the same way as the original one, but with some important changes that made the whole process go much, much faster. The first version took a couple of weeks to mod. This one took a couple of hours. Continue reading Kowal Portable Typewriter and Adding Machine No. 2 — The Deco Model

Join in an intense and vital debate upon which rests the fate of the internet! The very fate of humanity hinges on this important issue.

A friend just said that he needed to buy a hat while he was here. I started to cite John Helmer Haberdashery downtown, which has a wonderful selection of hats.

He then clarified that he was looking for a Ducks baseball cap hat. [Edited to add: He says that he called it a hat. La! See me be snooty and disdainful.]

I think that a baseball cap is not the same thing as a hat. He thinks that they are.

Now arguably, hat might be used as an umbrella term for headcoverings, but it’s like saying, “I want some fiction,” and then clarifying that you really meant you wanted a movie.

So! Internet debate. Are hats and caps the same thing? Discuss.

(By the way, if the folks who read my blog on Facebook and LJ don’t mind commenting at my website I’d appreciate it. That way my friend can see the full range of responses in one location.)

Like so many other people, I’ve been watching the rescue of the Chilean miners. They are all back on the surface now and I am amazed at how well it has gone. If you want to get a real grasp of the undertaking, click over to the BBC’s scale drawing of the shaft. How did they even find these men in the first place?

Truly this is an inspiring rescue on all fronts. The men for keeping it together while underground for so long and the rescue workers on top for bringing them out alive and healthy.