First you start by taking the table firmly in your hands and saying, “Stupid table, you’ve got no future and you’re poorly designed.” If it still looks chipper, discuss the economy until you can get the varnish to peel. It shouldn’t take long.

In all seriousness, sometimes in theater we need a piece of furniture to look as if it was older. The process of taking a new thing and making it look old is called “distressing.” In the show that I did props on, the original show table broke and had to be replaced. Someone else picked up the new one, but I had to run over to the theater to distress the table.

I use a steel wool to dull the finish, a little paint for staining and honking big rasp to create dings and scratches. By honking big, I mean the about eighteen inches long and an inch wide.

On the way home, I’ve got all the tools in my bag and the rasp handle was poking out. It rested at my hip at almost the angle of a sword’s hilt. At one point, I passed this guy who tried to get me to stop and talk to him. Never works, but this time I got a story flash.

See, I always want to write stories with people in theater, but really need the fact that they are in theater to have an intrinsic role in the story. So, showing a props master at work on a show and the bag of tricks used and then getting to reuse those tools in very different ways later would be a lot of fun.

I mean, can’t you just imagine drawing the rasp like a short sword? And from the time or two that I’ve accidentally caught myself with one, those suckers hurt.

!!! I think that deserves more than a single exclamation point, don’t you?

I got the email a little over a week ago and couldn’t even hint that I’d been told. That’s probably where the fever came from, all the pent-up excitement. Today though, they announced the full nomination list for the Hugos.

The Cambell nominees are:

Joe Abercrombie (2nd year of eligibility)
Jon Armstrong (1st year of eligibility)
David Anthony Durham (1st year of eligibility)
David Louis Edelman (2nd year of eligibility)
Mary Robinette Kowal (2nd year of eligibility)
Scott Lynch (2nd year of eligibility)

As far as I can tell, I’m the only short story writer on the list, the rest are all novelists. I’m pleased as all get out to see David Louis Edelman on there with me. Besides being one of my favorite people, I think his nomination is well-deserved. I’ll admit that besides David, Scott Lynch is the only one of my fellow nominees that I’ve read, but then I’ll bet the other guys are wondering about who I am too… heh. Funny. I only just now realized that I’m the sole woman on the list.

Anyway, I was going to say that I plan on picking up copies of each of the other fellow’s novels and encourage you to do the same. One of the best things a nomination like this can do is to raise the visibility of the author, so darn it, get out there and read these guys. A puppeteer friend of mine said, “The only competition is a bad puppet show.” I firmly believe that’s true in science-fiction, too. I won’t be at all upset if one of the other nominees wins it, because a new good writer will just draw more people into the field and that’s good for me.

All of that said– There is one very simple reason you should vote for me which can be summed up in two words. Campbell Tiara.

I am the only girl on the list and I come with my own ballgown.

It looks like the fever has finally broken. Whew.

Let me ask you this, because Rob says it doesn’t happen to him and I’ve just always assumed it was a normal part of getting a fever. My skin gets really sensitive, like all the nerve endings have been chafed and are jangling. I can’t stand to have anything rub across because the friction is too much. The best way I could describe it to him, and this isn’t exactly right, is when you have a mild sunburn and can feel every fiber in the clothes you are wearing. Does that happen to you?

My joints ache and my skin gets sensitive. Chills are standard, but does anyone else get the other stuff?

And yes, thank you, I am feeling much better. I still have very little appetite, a cough, fatigue but hey– at least I know I’ve gotten enough sleep this week. Finally.